I once spent the afternoon taking part in a webinar focused on providing support, Church teaching, and information to families who receive a prenatal diagnosis that their child will be disabled in some way. Perhaps they are informed that the child will have Down syndrome or perhaps a birth defect that will lead either to early death or to a lifetime of challenges.
The pressure on such families to abort is often enormous. They are told, “It is the right thing to do” or “You should not make the child suffer.” Some are even made to feel they are doing something “unethical” by bringing forth such children. There are also time pressures placed on such parents. Doctors often want the decision to terminate made quickly, within a matter of days.
A life not worth living?
There seems to be a notion on the part of many in our culture that there is such a thing as a life not worth living. We have stumbled upon the very unusual and tragically ironic concept that death is a form of therapy and that the “treatment” for babies with disabilities is to kill them. Of course, death is not a treatment or a therapy; it cannot be considered a “solution.” Yet tragically this is often the advice that many parents with a poor prenatal diagnosis receive.
All this pressure goes a long way to explaining that two-thirds of families with a poor prenatal diagnosis choose to abort.1 We in the Church cannot remain silent in the face of this. We must prophetically and compassionately reach out to families in such a crisis. Many of them are devastated by the news that their baby may have serious disabilities. Often they descend into shock and are overwhelmed by fear, conflicting feelings, and even anger at God or others. Sometimes the greatest gifts we can give them are time, information, and the framework of faith. Simply considering some of the following may help:
1. They do not have to rush. Serious life-changing decisions should never be made in a 48-to-72-hour time period. Pressure should never be applied to families by medical personnel, and the family should consider such pressure a grave injustice.
2. Prenatal diagnoses are not always right. We often think of medicine as an exact science. It is not. Data can be misinterpreted, and premises can sometimes be wrong. Further, there is a difference between the result of a screening and an actual diagnosis. Screenings can point to potential problems and likelihoods but are not an actual diagnosis of a problem. Further study is always needed if a screening indicates potential problems. Quite frequently, further tests after a screening reveal no problem at all.
3. Disabilities are not always as terrible as we think. Many people with disabilities live very full lives and are a tremendous gift to their families, the Church, and the world. Providing families with further information about disabilities and connecting them with families who have experience in these areas are essential to avoiding the catastrophizing that sometimes sets in when an adverse prenatal diagnosis is given.
4. It is essential to connect those with faith with the most basic truths of our Christian faith. The cross is an absurdity to the world. But to those of the Christian faith, the cross brings life and blessings, even despite its pain. Were it not for our crosses, most of us could never be saved. Bringing forth a disabled child will not be easy, but God never fails. He can make a way out of no way. Yes, the cross is painful, but it brings life as well.
5. Disability is not an all-or-nothing thing. Disability exists on a continuum. In some way all of us are disabled. Some of us have very serious weight problems, others diabetes, heart problems, etc. Some of us are intellectually challenged in certain areas. Some of us struggle with anxiety or depression, addictions, or compulsions. Some experience losses in mobility through an accident or just due to age. In most cases we are able to adjust to what disables us and still live reasonably full lives. We may not be able to do all we would like, but life still has blessings. And even our weaknesses and disabilities can, and do, bring us blessings by helping to keep us humble. Can you or I really decide for someone else that their life is not worth living?
6. Life is not usually what it seems. In this world we esteem things like wealth, ability, strength, and power. But God is not all that impressed by these things. God has a special place for the poor and the humble. The Lord said that many who are last in this life are going to be first in the next. There is a great reversal coming wherein the mighty are cast down and the lowly are raised up. In this world we may look with misplaced pity upon those who suffer with a disability. But understand this: They are going to be the exalted ones in the kingdom of heaven.
What of those who aborted?
We as a Church cannot avoid our responsibility to prophetically declare the dignity and worth of the disabled. More than ever our world needs the Church’s testimony, for it is a startling statistic that two-thirds of parents choose to abort in cases of a poor prenatal diagnosis. Even as we prophetically witness to the dignity of the disabled and the wrongness of abortion in these cases, we must also embrace those who have chosen abortion and now struggle with that choice.
We are called to reconcile and bring healing to all who have faced this crisis and fallen. Many were pressured, afraid, and felt alone. We offer this embrace through confession and healing ministries like Project Rachel, which offers counseling, spiritual direction, support groups, and prayer services. Even as the Church is prophetic in speaking against abortion, she must also reconcile those who have fallen under the weight of these heavy issues.
This article was condensed and reprinted with permission. The original can be found at blog.adw.org.
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