American Life League’s spiritual director always had a knack for pointing out logical, simple ways of debating even the most complex pro-life facts, such as the proof of a human being’s personhood at conception (fertilization).
Frequently, I found myself involved in lengthy pro-life discussions. More often than not, these took place via e-mail or in the U. S. mail. I would often ask Father to help me formulate points for these discussions. My goal was always to use language or examples that encouraged my adversary or my fellow pro-lifer to think with reason rather than emotion or ill-conceived ideas. Well, in many of these “discussions,” Father O’Brien would come to the point of saying, “Judie, don’t talk to walls,” and usually at that point he would return my opponent’s writings or the e-mails with nothing but a simple “donkey head” drawn in the margin.
The first time he did this, I laughed aloud, then called him and said, “Father O’Brien, what is this donkey?” To which he replied, with that joyful Irish tone that helped me know that he was wearing his inimitable smile, “Judie, my moral theology professors, Callan and McHugh, taught us that whenever St. Thomas Aquinas could no longer deal with someone’s inanities, he simply drew a donkey head, and went on about his important work. If it was good enough for St. Thomas, it’s good enough for me.”
Well, that is wisdom! One of our most important duties is communicating with those whose hearts are open to at least considering the fullness of truth. You will often encounter that “brick wall”—someone who does not seem to want to think clearly, even after you have attempted every conceivable type of tactic to reveal the truth in loving charity. When you do, think about how St. Thomas would respond.
It may sound strange, but when I am looking at someone with whom such a discussion is occurring, I can see that donkey head in my imagination. I know then that Father O’Brien is simply saying to me, once again, “Judie, don’t talk to walls.” And so I can politely smile, assure him or her of my prayers, and depart or change the subject. You’d be surprised how much easier it is to move on when you have a little reminder that some things must be left to God.
Father O’Brien, we love you and we will never forget you.
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