“Pro-life” is a controversial term among abortion advocates. Since pro-lifers advocate for the protection of human beings from the first moment of their creation, we are often called “forced birthers” or “anti-woman.” We are told we care only about babies and not about the lives and well-being of their mothers.
We disagree with these accusations and know that they are untrue, as we can point these people to the thousands of pregnancy help centers and the millions of pro-lifers who volunteer to help struggling moms.
Yet, as Christians, we should also disagree with judging those who are considering abortion or who have had an abortion. Pointing fingers at someone for their choices, no matter how we feel about them, can often be detrimental and push women away from considering alternatives to abortion.
Because we believe in the sanctity of life, we can become a light in this world and an encouragement to women who are in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy. But we can only do that by educating, offering hope, opening the doors to conversation, and understanding that panicked women often do not make rational decisions.
While we know that abortion is wrong and a grave evil, we also know that women who seek abortions often already feel judged, especially when they see protesters outside abortion businesses with signs that call them “baby killers” and tell them they’re going to hell. These vitriolic methods just don’t work.
What can work is a calm, caring approach from a person who is willing to listen. More often than not, women who intend to abort are scared. They may not have the money to support a child, and they sometimes feel trapped. If they are teenagers, they might fear that they will be kicked out of their home. If they are in a difficult relationship, they may fear their partner will leave them. The last thing they need to see is a vitriolic sign or to hear someone condemning them.
As pro-life advocates and servants of God, we must be mindful of the approach we take when speaking out against sin. We believe that every human being matters, and that should also include the women who are pregnant and considering abortion. While holding a sign to protest the taking of an innocent life is fine, we need to examine the content of that sign and remember that aggression and pointing the finger of blame won’t help either the mother or the baby.
If you have ever been caught in what seems like a never-ending social media argument, you know that using hostile language or passive-aggressiveness never results in a positive conclusion. In the same vein, we can’t expect women to respond positively to pro-life advocates who seem to have no interest in the woman carrying the baby.
Changing the hearts and minds of mothers contemplating an abortion will not happen when you’re accusing them of murder. It happens one woman and one conversation at a time, whether it’s through face-to-face conversation, public speaking, or the written word.
We can make a difference and change the tide but only if we do so with compassion. Right now, there are millions of women considering an abortion and most likely millions more who believe they would have no problem aborting a child were they to get pregnant. While changing all those minds might seem impossible, God is the God of possibilities. But if we are to be His vessels of communication, we must, as Ephesians 4:15 commands, speak and live the “truth in love.” That love is an important part of any conversation we have with women who believe abortion is the only way. That love is the only thing that will save lives.
Sidewalk Counseling
Standing outside an abortion facility can feel daunting. You may encounter angry or violent people, and it can be incredibly difficult to watch moms walk into the facility, knowing they are just moments away from taking the life of their child. But keeping a cool head and speaking with compassion, rather than calling names, is the only way we will save lives.
The truth we want to impart to mothers is that there is always help, and there is always hope.
As Pro-Life Action Ministries states, there are “two pillars of sidewalk counseling: 1) Abortion is always wrong (truth) and 2) There is help for a mother who chooses life (love).”
With that in mind, we can only effectively save lives if we go armed with the truth that pro-life people love both babies and moms and that we are willing to help. To that end, we must also be prepared to offer information about local pregnancy resource centers where moms can receive assistance.
When we stand outside an abortion facility, we represent the entire pro-life movement. It is our love and our compassion that will save babies from abortion and moms from having to live with that terrible decision. Our words and actions make a lasting impression. That’s why training is a crucial piece of sidewalk counseling.
If you are a sidewalk counselor or are thinking about it, check out some of the great resources below that teach you what to say to women in these desperate situations. Your words and actions have the potential to save lives.
Pro-Life Action Ministries
plam.org/sidewalk-counseling-training-resources
Pro-Life Action League
prolifeaction.org/action/swc
Sidewalk Advocates for Life
sidewalkadvocates.org/our-program/what-we-offer
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