As an only child, it falls on me to take care of my parents as they grow older. Some may think of this as a burden, but I consider it a blessing. Throughout my life, my parents have lovingly supported me—emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually—and it will be an honor to return that gift. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard, and that’s okay. I choose to take care of them with as much love as they have always taken care of me.
As children, we are called to honor our mothers and fathers, and this command doesn’t cease to exist when we all become older. In fact, especially when it comes to caring for them when they can no longer adequately care for themselves, the command becomes even greater.
In his most recent book, entitled Unshakeable, Fr. Mike Schmitz writes, “Love is simple. How do the people around you know that you love them? You can sum it up in . . . three short words that convey to another person how important they are in your life. . . . ‘Here I am.’”
Here I am. This simple phrase is often so difficult for people to utter and to actually mean, especially in today’s society, where the elderly are seen as disposable, as burdens, or as annoyances.
We must take care of the elderly with immense love, never hastening their death, and giving them the respect and honor they deserve. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that “the family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor.”
But our society doesn’t look upon the elderly this way. In a 2022 General Audience, Pope Francis acknowledged this and said that “the ambivalence of today’s society with regard to old age is not a problem of occasional emergencies, but a feature of that throwaway culture that poisons the world we live in.”
Poisons is both an unfortunate and appropriate word. When we treat the elderly as people who can just be disposed of because they are older, we reject the gift of their lives and we deny ourselves and the world the gift of their very selves.
All people, regardless of age or ability, have value, and life should never be taken prematurely. Furthermore, every sick person deserves a chance for treatment and the choice about whether that treatment would be considered ordinary or extraordinary. But not all have the ability to choose. This happens all too often, and as HALO vice president Julie Grimstad wrote:
Pressure to stop life-sustaining treatment comes in many forms. Families are enticed to admit loved ones to hospice by being told that they can keep patients “comfortable,” when, in actuality, they are killing patients with overdoses of analgesics and sedatives and/or starving and dehydrating them to death or denying them their usual medications (insulin, blood pressure meds, etc.). They convince families that life-saving and life-sustaining treatments are useless by calling patients “vegetables” or saying that caring for them is “futile” simply because the healthcare providers deem the person’s life to be “not worth living” or not worth the cost of the care required.
Compassionate care is never futile, and no human being is ever dispensable. The elderly in our society deserve our care, our respect, our attention, and our love. And they deserve to hear those three words from loved ones: “Here I am.”
Here I am to make your last days comfortable and filled with as much joy as possible, never hastening your death. Here I am to care for you. Here I am to love you.
This article first appeared in LifeSiteNews at lifesitenews.com/blogs/elderly-people-are-a-gift-not-a-burden-that-we-can-dispose-of.
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